18-year-old roommate wants to stop sharing dinners with his flatmates as he is now spending $100 a week on just dinner food when he knew he could eat for less: 'I even suggested that I could buy my own food and still cook with them once a week'

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Aug 27, 2026 1:00 PM EDT

Why would he spend $100 a week on just dinners?

Eating dinner with friends is a great activity. Getting to live with your friends as roommates seems like a great idea to have fun while living on a budget. Getting to eat dinner every day with your roommates who are your friends sounds great in theory. But maybe it's not as good as it sounds! Living with your friends can bring several issues into the relationship. You could fight because of the cleaning of the shared space, due to the guests each brings to the apartment, and especially due to money issues. Not every friend has the same budget, and getting to live together is going to make that even more obvious.

Some friends never go through with the moving together thing because of the money differences. They can afford different kinds of apartments in diverse places, and getting to an agreement can be hard. But if you decide on that and go on with the move, that doesn't mean that problems end there. You will start to think that most of the qualities that made your friend a great one are actually quite annoying. It may be fun to befriend a funny guy that's never serious, but to live with them… that may not be the smartest decision.

Stories like this abound on the internet and in life. And they are a reminder of how careful we have to be before deciding to move with a friend, especially if we want to remain as such after the living-together period has passed. So be mindful, talk to each other, and compromise. Don't just say yes to anything because your roommate asked. Be especially mindful of how you want to manage your finances and take care of them. A roommate could be found anywhere. Friends are more rare. 

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  • Am I wrong for wanting to stop sharing dinners with my flatmates because it’s costing me too much?

  • 01
    I (18F) moved into a flat with three of my longtime friends a couple of months ago. We have all known each other for years so it's not like I'm in a situation where I'm living with three random strangers. We are all very close and that's one of the main reasons why I decided to move in with them. For the first month and a bit everyone just cooked their own food. We would obviously cook together sometimes but there was never a real system. If someone was cooking and offered to everyone we would a
    via HappyFinding_7919
  • 02
    Flatmates living together. Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
    via Michael Proctor

    Flatmates living together.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story. 

  • 03
    themselves. About three weeks ago one of my flatmates suggested we start doing shared dinners. Her reasoning was that we all pretty much buy the same stuff and it would be cheaper and easier if we planned dinners together, bought everything in one shop, and took turns cooking. Everyone including me thought it was a good idea at the time. The agreement was that we would work out what dinners we wanted for the week, one person would go do the
    via HappyFinding_7919
  • 04
    shopping, we would split the costs evenly between us, and we would take turns cooking. IMPORTANTLY, this was only for dinners. Everyone still bought their own breakfast, lunch, snacks etc. The first week was fine. I don't remember exactly how much the total was but my split was around 80$. 1 thought that was reasonable because I wasn't buying the groceries and only had to cook a couple nights of the week. As the weeks went on though the cost
    via HappyFinding_7919
  • 05

    $100 JUST ON A WEEK OF DINNER?! That's crazy!

    slowly started increasing. By the end of last week my split was just over 100$. I didn't really think much of it because I figured we probably just ran out of some ingredients or bought a bit more than usual. Then this week we planned everything out again and it looks like my share is going to be around 100$ again. This is why I'm starting to question if this agreement actually makes sense for me. I sat down and roughly worked out
    via HappyFinding_7919
  • 06

    Mate, please prioritize your budget over anything, $100 a week for dinner seem like an insane amount.

    what I normally spend when I'm buying my own dinners. I'm not someone who eats particularly expensive dinners. I normally make stuff like stir fry, pasta, and chicken and rice. I think I could comfortably buy enough food for my dinners whilst spending only 45-60$. This means that I'm basically paying double whilst also cooking for 4 people a couple nights a week. I thought about it some more and I don't think it's actually convenient or easier since when I'm cooking for
    via HappyFinding_7919
  • 07

    I don't like your friends attitude

    myself it only takes about 20 minutes to cook and clean up one pan and a plate... Instead I'm spending around 100$ a week and still have to spend part of several evenings cooking and cleaning for everyone. I brought this up with the others last night and said I was thinking about going back to buying and cooking my own dinners. There were not too happy about it. One of them said the whole point of doing this was so that we would be
    via HappyFinding_7919
  • 08
    sharing the workload, and that if I leave then the other three will have to either pay more or change the system. I said I understood that but I don't think it's fair to expect me to keep spending an extra 40-50$ a week just so the system works for everyone. She also said that "we've been friends for years", and "eating dinner together was meant to be one of the nice parts of living together”. I said I agree with her and that we can still eat together. Also that I'm not saying I'm never going to
    via HappyFinding_7919
  • 09
    them or I'm refusing to have dinner with them. I just don't think I can financially commit to spending 100$+ a week on shared dinners when I can feed myself for less. I even suggested that I could buy my own food and still cook with them once a week. Or even contribute to specific dinners once or twice a week. They weren't fully against it but they think I'm making the situation unnecessarily complicated. One of them also pointed out how that I was perfectly happy when it was only
    via HappyFinding_7919
  • 10
    80$ which I don't have a good answer for, other than I didn't think it would increase by much. I feel a bit guilty because I know to them it isn't really about the groceries. They see it as something we can do together as friends. And I'm worried they might view me as just a roommate instead of a friend. At the same time I don't make a lot and 40-50$ is a meaningful amount of money to me. I haven't left the situation yet but I told them I need to think about it before
    via HappyFinding_7919
  • 11
    making a decision. AITJ for wanting to stop sharing dinners because I think I can feed myself for less?
    via HappyFinding_7919
  • 12
    Roommates sharing an apartment. Scene is illustrative and does not depict actual individuals or events.
    via Anita Monteiro

    Roommates sharing an apartment. 

    Scene is illustrative and does not depict actual individuals or events. 

  • 13

    This is so true, if you can't afford it, don't do it! It's worse in the long run

    LordofToomay If you can't afford it then you can't. But why not sit down and work out why it is so much more? You could agree to carry on if they simplify the meals.
    via LordofToomay
  • 14
    Curious_Bench_5244 What the h I are you cooking that has ONLY DINNER costing $400+ every week? I get grocery prices are high, but are they purposely picking the most expensive versions of everything or what? What are these complicated a meals they're making, and how much do you usually spend when you do the shopping for everyone's dinner- or is it the same person shopping every time? NTJ
    via Curious_Bench_5244
  • 15
    Medical-Potato5920 NTJ. Of course they are upset that you won't be subsidising their meals. Go back to what works for you, or cook cheaper meals for them.
    via Medical-Potato5920
  • 16
    Born_tobe_ Honestly, Friendship shouldnt come with a mandatory $40-50 weekly surcharge. You can value ur friends and still have a budget.
    via Born_tobe_
  • 17
    CawlinAlcarz Is this like the couple who go to a restaurant with another couple and want to just split the bill down the middle while they each order surf & turf, 2 bottles of wine, and 2 apps each while the other couple orders the chicken piccata, lasagna, no apps, and two iced teas? If that's what's going on here, you are NTJ, OP.
    via CawlinAlcarz
  • 18
    Blurtitjerk Has the same person done the shopping, since the new system began? Is it the same person that took umbrage with you backing out? Had someone had seen an opportunity to get a few extras, at everyone's expense. Or did you notice where the extra $20 had been spent?
    via Blurtitjerk

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